It's been quite boring the last few days. Thought a few times about writing about the things that happened. Never really got time to do that though. Actually, I had shitload of time, but I didn't feel like doing it.
So here I am, not placed in any of the two companies. I definitely screwed up, but that's that. Can't do anything about it now. Not that I care anyway.
In all, finally I decided not to go to parents' place. Days just keep passing, watching movies mostly, or roaming around here and there. Cigarettes have become an obsession now. I jam sometimes on the guitar, preparing for the competition (as they call it). But in the end, nothing matters. But I still try, to change things. To turn them around for the good - the greater good. What the greater good is, I don't know. But I can tell you that whatever it is, can't be achieved if we keep doing the same shit everyday. All is needed is to think.
If you ask me now, I can't tell you why I'm writing this post. But sometime in future, I'd be glad that I did.
Friday, December 25, 2009
Sunday, December 13, 2009
Her memory resides - the aftermath
I was pretty screwed up after doing what I did. I thought over and over again, about that moment that I said what I said. I started to become what I was when I joined that school at the start of class 11. Always silent. Always calm. Always lost. Lost in oblivion.
I was the calm little center of the world, but if you looked closer, you'd find a restless mind, a soul with no peace.
A classmate told me that she was not worth a guy like me, for she didn't look so good after all, but I never gave a fuck about how she looked. I never really cared. I wasn't the kind of guy an average Indian kid would be in these matters.
Over and again, conscience gripped in, coaxing me to rethink the righteousness of my own self. Things became worse with time, and the more I thought that it will eventually subside, the more I found it was not the case.
Every time I'd get after the chemistry tuitions, I'd smoke and drive my bicycle at the top speed that I could manage. I'd crash sometimes. Sometimes I'd fall. Not that any of it mattered. What mattered, was lost.
I nearly screwed up my class tests, but responsibility towards my parents kept the studious guy studying.
In Agartala, many people used the perfume she used to wear. And that got me thinking. I started going sick. Sick of my past, sick of my present. I decided I'd have to get out of the place. The only way I could do that, was studies. IT and physics were the only two things I liked then. They made sense. They tried to give the world we live in, a definitiveness and a meaning it never seemed to have.
At last, I passed my board, cracked the EEE. I was now about to witness some shit, but I didn't know that before actually coming here. Something more was about to happen. Something that changed me, forever. That something did make me less angry about things. It made me more calm, less sad. But even now, I sometimes think about her. I don't know why, but the memory resides.
I was the calm little center of the world, but if you looked closer, you'd find a restless mind, a soul with no peace.
A classmate told me that she was not worth a guy like me, for she didn't look so good after all, but I never gave a fuck about how she looked. I never really cared. I wasn't the kind of guy an average Indian kid would be in these matters.
Over and again, conscience gripped in, coaxing me to rethink the righteousness of my own self. Things became worse with time, and the more I thought that it will eventually subside, the more I found it was not the case.
Every time I'd get after the chemistry tuitions, I'd smoke and drive my bicycle at the top speed that I could manage. I'd crash sometimes. Sometimes I'd fall. Not that any of it mattered. What mattered, was lost.
I nearly screwed up my class tests, but responsibility towards my parents kept the studious guy studying.
In Agartala, many people used the perfume she used to wear. And that got me thinking. I started going sick. Sick of my past, sick of my present. I decided I'd have to get out of the place. The only way I could do that, was studies. IT and physics were the only two things I liked then. They made sense. They tried to give the world we live in, a definitiveness and a meaning it never seemed to have.
At last, I passed my board, cracked the EEE. I was now about to witness some shit, but I didn't know that before actually coming here. Something more was about to happen. Something that changed me, forever. That something did make me less angry about things. It made me more calm, less sad. But even now, I sometimes think about her. I don't know why, but the memory resides.
Wednesday, December 9, 2009
Her memory resides - fate and irony
I had these exams approaching and so had she. School time kept going down and so did our meetings. Although she lived just a street away, we never could meet, for she was afraid that her father might come to know (whose office was nearby), and that could amount to troubles.
Then one day, we had this annual day, when there would be a celebration in the school (which happened every year). It was to be held on the evening of that day. Other than that, it was a holiday. So I was at home. In the evening, it turned out cloudy and dark, and it was probably in the winters, and I had a cold. My mind kept fluctuating between whether or not to go to the school. It would have been a hectic journey in autos. I'd have to change autos in the middle, and if it started raining, I'd be in trouble. Time kept passing, and it was already 5. It was to start at 5. I finally decided not to go and stay home. By now, mom knew about me and her. She was telling me to go if I wanted. I don't quite know what took over, but I was not feeling like going anywhere that evening.
I am Jack's slumbered nervous system.
I just went on and lied down on my bed. The next moment I knew, it was already 7. I had to get back with my books now, for that was the "routine".
The next day, after I got in the bus, I didn't see her after she got on the bus. After the bus stopped, and everyone started going down, I saw her and tried to apologize for not coming the other day. She was with a friend of hers, and no matter how much I'd call her, she won't listen to me.
I am Jack's inflamed sense of rejection.
Finally, I just stood in front of her. Now she had to talk. She was furious, something I hadn't expected. I apologized for not turning up. She was still angry at me. Then she just said it was okay, and went to her class.
That evening, we talked it over. I told her that I didn't know the bus was coming, when she told me about that.
Some weeks later we had the farewell party for the seniors. I was to sing with a friend. The function was over and me and her kept sitting beside each other the whole time. It was then, that she told me about those two seniors who had been in a relationship for the last seven years. It's beautiful when you imagine your relationship going on till the end of time.
On the way back, we were to go earlier than other kids, which meant we'd have no bus for us. Me and her walked all the way to the main road and then came back together. A newly wed couple were going in a car that day, and I remember her telling me that one day it would be us.
I was the calm little center of the world.
Days kept passing. And then the exams were over. The judgment day (the day of the results) came and we were all there. I was standing with the guys of my class, and the class teacher was giving me a quiet smirk. Then came over to me and asked how things were. I was speechless as to what he might mean by that. I just managed to pass a smile towards him.
They started announcing the results. I didn't expect much, but I sure wanted to be among the top three guys. When it came to our class, they said out the third place first. I managed to clap as everyone was clapping for him. My heart beats were going faster. Then the second. My heart was pounding inside my chest now. And then the first, and I stood dumbstruck when I heard my name. I just stood there, not being able to believe that for once, I finally did top my class. The other guys got me out of my trance. My parents were there and sure were happy for me. I couldn't wait to meet Madhu then. She'd be proud.
After the results were all over, my parents and bro went together. I just told them that I'll come in the bus. They of course knew why, and didn't question me.
Back in the bus, Madhu was sitting alone. I went near her, and asked how her result was. She kept quiet. I didn't quite understand as to why she'd not say anything, and then she just started crying. Turned out she'd not been able to pass. This was a setback not just for her, but for me as well now.
I am Jack's rage against god.
I sat beside her, took her hand in mine and told her that everything will be okay. She kept crying all the way back home. I tried to console her, but all in vain. Near home, she somehow stopped crying. When the bus stopped, without a word, she went away.
Other guys of the class asked me what had happened. I just asked them not to ask. I was in no good mood now. The topping in class no more seemed worth.
Back home, mom asked me, why I was so quiet, when I should have been happy. I just told her whatever had happened. She didn't want me to ruin my day because she had a bad result. But it was easy for her to say.
In the evening father, bro (he was second or third in his class, I can't quite recall which) and I were to go for an ice cream. We walked in silence. Dad wanted me to cheer up. I tried, but I couldn't. The day somehow passed. The next day marked the start of the new session. She was of course, nowhere to be seen.
I am Jack's tearful eyes.
That day I called her up. Her mom answered the call (I'd met her before I fell in love with Madhu). She told me how bad she was still crying, and was sad. We discussed about the examinations, and she told me that she'd be giving supplementary exams a few days later. I felt a bit relieved.
A few days later, she started coming to school again, after having cleared the supplementary. I was happy to see her. And this is when, we started loving each other more than before.
After some days, the summer holidays started. Now, we hardly could meet. I had this chemistry tuition, which was quite far from home. I used to save the money for transportation and walked all the way. With that I used to call her, but with two bucks, you can hardly talk more than a minute. She was always disappointed for this. May be she should have been.
As the holidays drew to an end, I started growing doubtful about whether or not the relationship would work out. I began to think how things might be after we passed the school. I realized we'd not be able to meet at all. With the kind of allowance I got, I could hardly afford anything. Even a phone call was a big deal. The holidays ended, and I met her. I was afraid of talking to her, always wondering what might happen. But honestly, at that time, I didn't really see a future. She admitted how disappointed she used to be for I could not talk much. She didn't go on and complain about the various wrong things I used to do, like not meeting her even when we stayed near.
The next day I caught a real bad fever. For two weeks, I had to be at home. All the time, I'd think about the future of the relationship. When I got better, I was still wondering as to what I should do to make things better. I could not see a way. For two days, despite being in school, I didn't talk to her. Sumita then asked what had happened. I think I had made a decision then. I told her to ask Madhu to meet me in lunch time. I didn't have the courage to say that myself. Rather, Madhu's class was far off that year. Sumita hadn't passed, and had a free class then. In lunch time, we met near the class (the usual place). I was sweating.
She was puzzled as to what I might have to say. Then, I just decided that I should just say it. And I said that I could not do this any more, and that we should part.
Put a gun to my head and paint the walls with my brain.
Few days later, in the chemistry tuition, my classmate offered me a cigarette. I never smoked before that. He told me that everything will finally leave you, but cigarette won't leave you till the end. And I smoked. The smoke filled my lungs and pumped along through my blood. The wave hit my brain, and suddenly all that pain dissolved away. I felt okay for some time that day. I became addicted.
Looking back now, after going through two other long distance relationships and having learned the truth, that they never work out, I feel that I did the right thing. I'm in college now, and whenever I go back to my parents', I meet Sumita. She told me that Madhu was doing a course in fashion technology. This time she said that she met her, and that she looks way modern nowadays. She tells me that I did the right thing. A break up later on, would have been harder to bear.
Why I suddenly look back into my past, after five years of all this, is that one smell. The perfume she always wore. I'll never forget that. And although I keep telling myself that I did the right thing, whenever I remember that smell, I find something within myself, question me, "Or, was it really the right thing?"
Labels:
bio,
life,
love,
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Monday, December 7, 2009
Her memory resides - the beginning of the end
After an awesome (but tiring) night of beer and heavy metal, I woke up yesterday in the evening. 5k0uz3r and I had tea and cigarettes (the official breakfast) together, and he dropped me near my home. I was to walk the rest of the way, because of the cop problem we'd faced before.
I was walking, thinking about what to read for the next exam. Suddenly, I smelled a perfume. It was astonishingly familiar. I thought for a moment, and I remembered. It was the same perfume she used to wear. And then, I forgot all about the exam and walking back home and realized that all of this has got something to do with the guy that I was five years ago.
She and I were in the same class. Well, she was in Arts though, and I was in Science. I was kinda famous in my class back then. I was one of the best guys ( on the basis of academics) in my class (in the science section), and whenever there were unit tests, I often happened to be the guy helping everyone copy from me. The arts people liked me because we had English in common, and they used to copy from me. In fact, I enjoyed the position of "the helper".
She and I met for the first time inside the bus, which used to get us back home from school. She'd asked a small kid to play a joke on me, so that she could talk with me. We turned to be good friends thereafter. We always used to talk while going back home. I liked the talks. They ranged from how studies and exams were to what kind of persons we liked.
After a few weeks, I realized I loved her. Now, I was quite scared about rejection, as that had happened before. Although this girl was single, I didn't know if she'd say yes to a guy who was quite studious, and more of a bookish guy. As days went by, I started to be more and more tense about what to do. So I decided to make my move, and whatever will happen, shall be handled after it happens. It was the same as thinking, "People normally don't do what they have the courage to do. That's not how it works. It works like this - You do what you are shitless scared of, and gain the courage after you do it, not before you do it."
So, the next day, when we were coming back in the bus, we didn't get a place to sit (senior classes were discharged after the junior classes, so that the kids always got the seats before we were in the bus). That was often the case, and like most days, we were standing together, talking. All of a sudden, I asked her what kind of person she'd like to spend her life with. She told me. She told me exactly the description I wanted to hear. That was more or less like me. I told her about me.
Now, it was kinda like a routine, that when she got down at her stoppage, she'd wave me goodbye and I'd do the same.
It was 2nd February 2005, when I finally decided to tell her what I felt. It was lunch time. I finished my food quite fast that day. Went down to the playground, where she usually had her lunch with her friends. She was sitting with one of her friends (whose name I don't quite recall at this moment). I went up to her. She looked up at me, and I told her that I needed to talk to her. She seemed puzzled as to what it could be. We walked in to the corridor. She stood near the notice board, and asked, "What is it?"
I am Jack's nervous breakdown.
I somehow managed to utter, "We were talking about that life partner thing right?"
I was waiting for her to be a bit surprised. She might have been, but didn't let it show up on her face. She just said, "Yeah?"
"Well, what if that person was me?"
I had just missed a heart attack.
I swear I noticed a smile on her face, but she hid it. She said that she'd tell me later. I wanted her to take her time to decide what she wanted. I said, "Okay. I'll see you in the bus then."
She went back to her friend. I was however tense as to what she might say. That day was one of the longest days of my life.
Back in the bus, I asked her what she'd decided. She told me that she'd tell on Valentine's day. I had to agree.
The waiting got longer. My classmates got to know about this. A few days later, Suchismita (she was in my class, and we were quite good friends back then) wanted to talk to me about this. Although she knew about it, she wanted me to tell her. After I was done, she told me that she was four years older than me. I was surprised as to why she hadn't told me that before. But I guess it was okay. Suchismita said that may be she would have thought that it would take my interest away from her. That day I asked her if that was so, and she just said, "You just didn't ask me about that before." She was right.
The next day, Sumita (who considered me one of her best friends, and still does) got to know about this and was kinda pissed off as to why I hadn't told her. I had not told her though. She was not sure if I should get along with Madhu. Mostly because she was detained twice and I was the topper at that time. I tried to make her understand that it really did not matter.
As valentine's day drew closer, I had to decide what to get as a gift. I didn't really get any pocket money. I had saved some money, that I used to get for auto fare while going to tuitions, by walking all the way instead of taking an auto. I didn't really have much money. I remember 13th February 2005 was Saraswati Puja. I went out with father and my bro, as they said they were going to see some puja. I thought as to how I'd be able to get past them and get a chocolate (5 star was her favourite) for her. Luckily, I got lost, father and bro went on a different street and I found that I'd lost 'em. I got in a shop and bought the chocolate. I found them later though.
Next day, Sumita had got me a red rose from her house (for Madhu), as was decided. In the second period, it was games period for us, and Arts had a games period too. One of the guys from Arts (whose name I don't remember) came up to me and told me that she was waiting in their class for me.
I went to that classroom. She was sitting there, alone. I went towards her, still nervous. I sat beside her and gave her the gift and the rose, saying, "Happy Valentine's day". I'd never said that to someone before. May be I should have rephrased my words. I told her that I loved her. I was waiting for her to answer. But she didn't. I managed to say, "You can take your time if you want." She said that she'd take some time to tell me if she'd get in that relationship.
Sumita later asked what happened. Everyone that knew was asking. I of course didn't have an answer. I told Sumita about that. She went to talk to Madhu. After the whole day passed, in the last but one class, Sumita called me up from the class and we went to Madhu. She was blushing and all she could say was a simple "The answer is yes."
I was the happy boy with a box of chocolates. I jumped in joy. I was happy. I was the calm little center of the world.
Labels:
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Tuesday, December 1, 2009
What's this life for?
Not unlike many nights, I could not sleep last night. With this pressure kinda thing in your head, you think more. Your mind goes astray thinking about a hell lot of different kinds of things. I remember when I used to be this high tech hacker guy, whose mind wandered in the unexplored depths of the cyber world. With time, my explorations became slower. I started taking a slide towards this crazy guy, who just thinks a lot. I unraveled the mysteries about life and everything. But on the other hand, I sometimes find myself questioning, "Is this all worth it?" Ironically, I do not seem to be having the answer to that. Over and again, Jack's words click back in my head:
Looking in the mirror, I find my face sagging down. I begin to accept what they probably call "fate". Everything that begins must at some point, end.
I have, like most of us must have, tried to figure out the answer to why we all exist. My purpose however, was to find the reason for my existence. I never did though. But in the place where I am, it doesn't really matter any more. May be we really are here to just be "happy", but again, not everyone thinks like that.
Tyler's words coming out of my mouth. And I used to be such a nice guy.
With insomnia, nothing is real. Everything is far away. Everything is a copy of a copy of a copy.
Looking in the mirror, I find my face sagging down. I begin to accept what they probably call "fate". Everything that begins must at some point, end.
I have, like most of us must have, tried to figure out the answer to why we all exist. My purpose however, was to find the reason for my existence. I never did though. But in the place where I am, it doesn't really matter any more. May be we really are here to just be "happy", but again, not everyone thinks like that.
We are the middle children of history. No purpose or place. We have no great war, no great depression. Our great war is a spiritual war. Our great depression is our lives.
Tyler's words coming out of my mouth. And I used to be such a nice guy.
Labels:
hacking,
life,
philosophy,
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Friday, November 27, 2009
Hack your life
This blog has taken a sudden shift from ultra l33t hacker articles to articles relating to the life of a hacker. But that, I suppose is a good thing. Now it won't be boring for anyone.
Today, I will tell you the greatest hack that was ever discovered. The hack can and has changed several lives. But only for those that have known it and done it. If you know this, you can hack your life! But first, it requires you to hack your mind.
As with all of us, on a wide basis, we all have two kinds of philosophies:
What I am trying to do here is share what I know. My motive here is not to change what you believe, but to show you the truth. It is however, upto your discretion to do what you think is right.
You look back. Say, 20 years back from now. There was telephone, and there was this newly born Internet (newly born in the sense that the general public had just started using it). The world had already started seeing cases of cyber crimes. Those included a great deal of social engineering. Calling people up in organizations and then pretending to be a government official or maintenance staff or something and then extracting relevant information from them. People used to think that one day, in near future, there will be no prank calls. Everyone would know who is calling. Everyone will know the calling number, and after some time, they'd know the name. And after that, they might even know what the purpose of the call is!
Now fast forward to the present. We first had caller IDs coming to the market. We started getting numbers. But eventually, we figured it was hard to remember all the numbers. So, it became necessary now, to know the name as well. So, we started having phone books, which would tell the name of the person calling now.
What my point in telling all this is that when you think of something that isn't there (not just in the realm of technology), you fear it. Eventually when that does start happening, you slowly accept it, and at a certain point of time, it all becomes "normal".
Have you ever wondered why it is like, someone or some groups of people imagine a certain thing, which might turn into fear or absolute awe, becomes reality after some time?
Well, I gotta tell you, it's mostly because they communicate it with others. When many people start wondering about the same thing, it materializes faster. Now, guess what? Everyone's probably thinking about 2012. After the movie is out, the mayan controversy is back again. More people now know about this. As a result, more people think about this same thing. This is not the way it should be. Because if we think about it over and over again, it will definitely materialize. But when we do a little more research on the Internet, we come to know that it is what archaeologists and scientists "think". This may or may not be true that the Mayan saw the end of the world coming. It might have been some other cause. But, this very thought is taking us closer to the end. Now I cannot change how the world thinks, but I can suggest a better way of trying to make things better (favorable).
One thing I have learned in all this time is, "Thoughts become Things". If you think something about some event or material, it will eventually materialize.
Pertaining to the last post, where I wrote about how pathetic the situation is. It is not because it is what it is. We have been witnessing some of it, and have been thinking the same since the last few decades. As a result, this has been exponentially increasing. The more we try to run from them, the more we go towards them. That's how things work. The only way out of this would be think about what you want, rather than what you don't want.
With these words, I make the last post or rather, this post, controversial. I am saying exactly the opposite of what I did. But, the only justification I'd give to that, is that if I didn't post that, there was no point in posting this article.
My point also, is that competition is not what takes us towards "the greater good". It is creation. This can be proven from day to day experience. And if you are in India, and have been a good student, as they call it, at some point of time, you'd understand this. If your aim is to top the class, you'd always think of beating the person in front of you. In all, you'd be left trying to be better than a set standard, but you can never understand what really is the "standard" that is supposed to be good. In fact, there is none. You define what you want and if you take the steps to get it, you definitely will.
A mass trend in thoughts is leading us all to what we are going to. If we have to change something which pertains to all of us, all of us, or at the very least, most of us should think that way.
Today, I will tell you the greatest hack that was ever discovered. The hack can and has changed several lives. But only for those that have known it and done it. If you know this, you can hack your life! But first, it requires you to hack your mind.
As with all of us, on a wide basis, we all have two kinds of philosophies:
- Everything happens for a reason
- There is no such thing as reason. Everything is an accident.
What I am trying to do here is share what I know. My motive here is not to change what you believe, but to show you the truth. It is however, upto your discretion to do what you think is right.
You look back. Say, 20 years back from now. There was telephone, and there was this newly born Internet (newly born in the sense that the general public had just started using it). The world had already started seeing cases of cyber crimes. Those included a great deal of social engineering. Calling people up in organizations and then pretending to be a government official or maintenance staff or something and then extracting relevant information from them. People used to think that one day, in near future, there will be no prank calls. Everyone would know who is calling. Everyone will know the calling number, and after some time, they'd know the name. And after that, they might even know what the purpose of the call is!
Now fast forward to the present. We first had caller IDs coming to the market. We started getting numbers. But eventually, we figured it was hard to remember all the numbers. So, it became necessary now, to know the name as well. So, we started having phone books, which would tell the name of the person calling now.
What my point in telling all this is that when you think of something that isn't there (not just in the realm of technology), you fear it. Eventually when that does start happening, you slowly accept it, and at a certain point of time, it all becomes "normal".
Have you ever wondered why it is like, someone or some groups of people imagine a certain thing, which might turn into fear or absolute awe, becomes reality after some time?
Well, I gotta tell you, it's mostly because they communicate it with others. When many people start wondering about the same thing, it materializes faster. Now, guess what? Everyone's probably thinking about 2012. After the movie is out, the mayan controversy is back again. More people now know about this. As a result, more people think about this same thing. This is not the way it should be. Because if we think about it over and over again, it will definitely materialize. But when we do a little more research on the Internet, we come to know that it is what archaeologists and scientists "think". This may or may not be true that the Mayan saw the end of the world coming. It might have been some other cause. But, this very thought is taking us closer to the end. Now I cannot change how the world thinks, but I can suggest a better way of trying to make things better (favorable).
One thing I have learned in all this time is, "Thoughts become Things". If you think something about some event or material, it will eventually materialize.
Pertaining to the last post, where I wrote about how pathetic the situation is. It is not because it is what it is. We have been witnessing some of it, and have been thinking the same since the last few decades. As a result, this has been exponentially increasing. The more we try to run from them, the more we go towards them. That's how things work. The only way out of this would be think about what you want, rather than what you don't want.
With these words, I make the last post or rather, this post, controversial. I am saying exactly the opposite of what I did. But, the only justification I'd give to that, is that if I didn't post that, there was no point in posting this article.
My point also, is that competition is not what takes us towards "the greater good". It is creation. This can be proven from day to day experience. And if you are in India, and have been a good student, as they call it, at some point of time, you'd understand this. If your aim is to top the class, you'd always think of beating the person in front of you. In all, you'd be left trying to be better than a set standard, but you can never understand what really is the "standard" that is supposed to be good. In fact, there is none. You define what you want and if you take the steps to get it, you definitely will.
A mass trend in thoughts is leading us all to what we are going to. If we have to change something which pertains to all of us, all of us, or at the very least, most of us should think that way.
Labels:
hacking,
life,
philosophy,
story
Wednesday, November 25, 2009
India - Not a free society
This post is rather about how governments and their legislation and stuff are full of unnecessary vulnerabilities. I must say this before I begin:
I hereby declare that all this information is entirely true. I shall not be responsible if this causes and stupid wars or something. All I am doing is speaking the fucking truth. If you cannot admit and accept the truth, you'd better not read this. I have a right to freedom of speech, and you or anyone else cannot blame me for using that right.
All I am trying to do here, is open people's eyes, not blind them.
So, it happens that a few days back, I happen to smoke a cigarette after dinner on the roof with a neighbor (a guy from another college). All of a sudden, there's a fucking blast, and a house nearby seems to be on fire. We both run on towards the railing of the roof to see whatever was going on. Turns out that a bike is going towards the end of the street. The building is on fire. A drain right in front of it is on fire, which clearly tells that some kind of fuel was used. We stood in awe, and noticed that the door is on fire. I thought it was a good idea to go tell someone so that the situation could be brought under control. I told the other guy, "Hey man, let's go tell someone. The fire might spread." To that, he says, "Let's just finish the cigarette first." I thought that was quite reasonable, 'cause the fire was already going high. How much could it increase in about a couple of minutes?
I could not hold on that long. The fire seemed pretty annihilating. I threw more than half the cigarette and went down to tell someone. Then people gathered around and tried putting out the fucking fire. Then it turns out that the house was a shop, that remains closed most of the time. The fire brigade came, and then came the cops (Yeah, someone did call 'em up). So, I got dragged as the witness. Of course, all I'd seen was the taillight of the bike. I just told 'em what I'd seen. Meanwhile, the other guy, with whom I was smoking, hid his coward little ass in his room. So, I reckoned it was better not to utter the fact that I wasn't the only one to see that shit.
A few days later the cops come again to get some more information. I told the same thing again. Of course, there wasn't anything else to be told.
Today, that same guy (the cop that came the other day) comes up again and tells me that there won't be no hearing for that case, 'cause the shop owner hadn't any financial information about that little shop of his. I felt a bit relaxed, mostly because I had this exam going on (not because I had to testify, for I was ready to do that, but wasn't ready to hamper the exam for that). We talked about how the student life was with me. He told that he had caught a few guys from my college going around drunk at 3 at nights. We were on the same page with me telling that stuffs should be up to a certain limit (you have to say stuffs to socialize right?). He told how he had to spend a lot of money for his son, who is now a doctor. He told how he'd ran our from home and stayed in Kolkata for a few years (after coming to know that it's where my home is). All in all, it was a nice talk. Then he went away.
After a few minutes, I went out with a friend of mine, to have some tea and a smoke or two. He came on another friend's bike. As we were going back towards my place (he was dropping me), some cops stopped us (the police station is on the way). I looked at the guy wh0 was in front of us. I was relieved to see that the guy was the same cop who came to my house about a few minutes ago. I thought he won't bother me, 'cause he knows me. He gave me a smile, and told my friend (who was driving) to show him the license and the papers of the bike. The papers were supposed to be under the seat. We tried to open it up for about five minutes. Not having done so earlier, took us quite some time. Then we didn't find it, the bike owner had kept it somewhere else in his house. Now we were in deep shit. The cop now says that we'd have to pay a fine. The other way out is to give him a bribe of 100 bucks. I was astonished to see, that the guy was telling that. Just a few minutes ago, he was such a good person. And now, he was just another "Indian" cop.
Sooner or later, we had to give up. The bike wasn't ours. We had to give the fucking money. I didn't quite like the idea of bribing him. There was no slip or something. All the money went in his pocket. Now, the point is (about which I came to know later), that they are not traffic police. So, they can't just stop a vehicle in the road and ask for money. Another guy got caught and although he had all the papers, was being asked to pay a 100 bucks (bribe of course) by the same man. He, on the other hand used his tactics to get out of the situation.
They say India will be a developed nation by 2020. But honestly, I don't see a fucking chance. India, as I see from the inside, is not a developing country. Ironically, it can't be labeled an underdeveloped country either. I'd label India as (and probably I might be inventing a new word), an UNDERDEVELOPING country. While the rest of the world is going forward, India is going backwards. Many people will say stuffs against this, but again, it is them who are the cause for this. And this is not the only incident because of which I'm so much pissed off. I live here, and I see shit happening every single day. After all, this country, or any goddamn country is not made of soil and water and trees and flowers and mountains! We, the fucking people, the inhabitants make the country. But, I reckon, the people of this country will never learn this. I do not really feel enraged any more. I feel sorry for this country.
I hereby declare that all this information is entirely true. I shall not be responsible if this causes and stupid wars or something. All I am doing is speaking the fucking truth. If you cannot admit and accept the truth, you'd better not read this. I have a right to freedom of speech, and you or anyone else cannot blame me for using that right.
All I am trying to do here, is open people's eyes, not blind them.
So, it happens that a few days back, I happen to smoke a cigarette after dinner on the roof with a neighbor (a guy from another college). All of a sudden, there's a fucking blast, and a house nearby seems to be on fire. We both run on towards the railing of the roof to see whatever was going on. Turns out that a bike is going towards the end of the street. The building is on fire. A drain right in front of it is on fire, which clearly tells that some kind of fuel was used. We stood in awe, and noticed that the door is on fire. I thought it was a good idea to go tell someone so that the situation could be brought under control. I told the other guy, "Hey man, let's go tell someone. The fire might spread." To that, he says, "Let's just finish the cigarette first." I thought that was quite reasonable, 'cause the fire was already going high. How much could it increase in about a couple of minutes?
I could not hold on that long. The fire seemed pretty annihilating. I threw more than half the cigarette and went down to tell someone. Then people gathered around and tried putting out the fucking fire. Then it turns out that the house was a shop, that remains closed most of the time. The fire brigade came, and then came the cops (Yeah, someone did call 'em up). So, I got dragged as the witness. Of course, all I'd seen was the taillight of the bike. I just told 'em what I'd seen. Meanwhile, the other guy, with whom I was smoking, hid his coward little ass in his room. So, I reckoned it was better not to utter the fact that I wasn't the only one to see that shit.
A few days later the cops come again to get some more information. I told the same thing again. Of course, there wasn't anything else to be told.
Today, that same guy (the cop that came the other day) comes up again and tells me that there won't be no hearing for that case, 'cause the shop owner hadn't any financial information about that little shop of his. I felt a bit relaxed, mostly because I had this exam going on (not because I had to testify, for I was ready to do that, but wasn't ready to hamper the exam for that). We talked about how the student life was with me. He told that he had caught a few guys from my college going around drunk at 3 at nights. We were on the same page with me telling that stuffs should be up to a certain limit (you have to say stuffs to socialize right?). He told how he had to spend a lot of money for his son, who is now a doctor. He told how he'd ran our from home and stayed in Kolkata for a few years (after coming to know that it's where my home is). All in all, it was a nice talk. Then he went away.
After a few minutes, I went out with a friend of mine, to have some tea and a smoke or two. He came on another friend's bike. As we were going back towards my place (he was dropping me), some cops stopped us (the police station is on the way). I looked at the guy wh0 was in front of us. I was relieved to see that the guy was the same cop who came to my house about a few minutes ago. I thought he won't bother me, 'cause he knows me. He gave me a smile, and told my friend (who was driving) to show him the license and the papers of the bike. The papers were supposed to be under the seat. We tried to open it up for about five minutes. Not having done so earlier, took us quite some time. Then we didn't find it, the bike owner had kept it somewhere else in his house. Now we were in deep shit. The cop now says that we'd have to pay a fine. The other way out is to give him a bribe of 100 bucks. I was astonished to see, that the guy was telling that. Just a few minutes ago, he was such a good person. And now, he was just another "Indian" cop.
Sooner or later, we had to give up. The bike wasn't ours. We had to give the fucking money. I didn't quite like the idea of bribing him. There was no slip or something. All the money went in his pocket. Now, the point is (about which I came to know later), that they are not traffic police. So, they can't just stop a vehicle in the road and ask for money. Another guy got caught and although he had all the papers, was being asked to pay a 100 bucks (bribe of course) by the same man. He, on the other hand used his tactics to get out of the situation.
They say India will be a developed nation by 2020. But honestly, I don't see a fucking chance. India, as I see from the inside, is not a developing country. Ironically, it can't be labeled an underdeveloped country either. I'd label India as (and probably I might be inventing a new word), an UNDERDEVELOPING country. While the rest of the world is going forward, India is going backwards. Many people will say stuffs against this, but again, it is them who are the cause for this. And this is not the only incident because of which I'm so much pissed off. I live here, and I see shit happening every single day. After all, this country, or any goddamn country is not made of soil and water and trees and flowers and mountains! We, the fucking people, the inhabitants make the country. But, I reckon, the people of this country will never learn this. I do not really feel enraged any more. I feel sorry for this country.
Sunday, October 11, 2009
milw0rm under attack
It's 3:06 GMT and I am trying to see milw0rm.org after many days, in an attempt to find a vulnerability in my web server. Ironically, it seems that milw0rm is under a DOS attack. The browser won't connect.
After trying to find out news about this in google, I see nothing. No posts about it. But what I did see is something that might clarify the answer to who and why. This forum post was found trying to Google "milw0rm is under attack".
http://www.messblack.com/v2/forum/lofiversion/index.php/t15781.html
After trying to find out news about this in google, I see nothing. No posts about it. But what I did see is something that might clarify the answer to who and why. This forum post was found trying to Google "milw0rm is under attack".
http://www.messblack.com/v2/forum/lofiversion/index.php/t15781.html
Labels:
ddos,
distributed denial of services,
dos,
milw0rm,
news
Friday, August 28, 2009
WPA can now be broken in 60 seconds
The WPA, wireless encryption protocol is no more secure. In an earlier attack, WPA could be cracked in 12 to 15 minutes. But now, after some research from Japanese scientists, the WPA algorithm can be cracked in under a minute.
This has been a breakthrough in the field of the establishment of the fact that wireless encryption technology has not been given much thought in the beginning, and now it is growing up to be a huge problem.
Earlier WEP had been proved to have so many vulnerabilities. And we hackers were able to crack a network in under an hour, if near enough the source to get sufficient packets. It didn't seem to be any problem at all, but we had to get those handshake packets for WPA, and then use dictionary or brute-force attacks. But now with this revolution brought about by these scientists, we cannot anymore consider WPA as a secure algorithm.
However, this has been proven to work with TKIP (Temporal Key Integrity Protocol) only, and does not work with AES (Advanced Encryption System) or the WPA2 protocols.
This post has more information about this.
Labels:
cracking,
encryption,
encryption cracking,
hacking,
tkip,
wireless,
wpa
Sunday, April 12, 2009
k0r0pt: 0wn th3 w0r1d!
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k0r0pt the online hacker magazine is awaiting responses from hackers from all over the world.
k0r0pt has been in existence for about more than half an year now, merely awaiting for hackers to contribute. It will been freely available for all readers.
The editorial and disclaimer policy are available on the main website at: http://k0r0pt.co.cc.
Although the site has seen quite some downtime in the past one month, it is back up on a new server now.
Wednesday, March 4, 2009
Download YouTube and other streaming videos in Linux without any program
Linux is a great Operating System, as I've always been seeing. This post is going to describe a technique that I've been using for quite some time now. Experienced users may be familiar to this. But this post is targeted towards that are unaware.
There have been times when most of us have wanted to download a particular YouTube or other streaming video. In Linux, this is possible without the use of any external program.
In Linux, the streaming video is stored in /tmp directory. So, all one needs to do is go to the /tmp directory. If thumbnails are shown, it is easy to spot the video. If not, then looking for files starting with Flash will do the job. These are the files that are being streamed. But only the amount that has been streamed is stored in this file. One can simply copy this to the Desktop and view it with any media player.
If it is not Linux that one is using, then AFAIK, options are limited. There is a website, that helps people to download YouTube and Google Videos. But it is only limited to these two. It is called videodl.org.
If you find this post useful, do leave a comment down there and encourage me to write more useful tricks and techniques like this.
There have been times when most of us have wanted to download a particular YouTube or other streaming video. In Linux, this is possible without the use of any external program.
In Linux, the streaming video is stored in /tmp directory. So, all one needs to do is go to the /tmp directory. If thumbnails are shown, it is easy to spot the video. If not, then looking for files starting with Flash will do the job. These are the files that are being streamed. But only the amount that has been streamed is stored in this file. One can simply copy this to the Desktop and view it with any media player.
If it is not Linux that one is using, then AFAIK, options are limited. There is a website, that helps people to download YouTube and Google Videos. But it is only limited to these two. It is called videodl.org.
If you find this post useful, do leave a comment down there and encourage me to write more useful tricks and techniques like this.
Sunday, February 22, 2009
Privacy is dead in the European Union
According to recent news, cops and government security services do not any more need a warrant to hack into other's computers. This was done, following the proposals by the European Union about extending use of intrusive surveillance.
At present, authority has to be granted by a chief constable. But, this level of authority does mean a blow to personal privacy. The common man is the loser here.
Opposing political parties and privacy organizations are threatening a legal counter attack.
According to other reports, 194 police hacking operations were already accomplished in England, Wales and Ireland in the last two years.
But all in all, the common man is the real loser, as no doubt these powers that have been granted to the police officials will some day or the other, be misused against people for personal reasons.
Reference:
IT-Panel: Police can hack into your PC
At present, authority has to be granted by a chief constable. But, this level of authority does mean a blow to personal privacy. The common man is the loser here.
Opposing political parties and privacy organizations are threatening a legal counter attack.
According to other reports, 194 police hacking operations were already accomplished in England, Wales and Ireland in the last two years.
But all in all, the common man is the real loser, as no doubt these powers that have been granted to the police officials will some day or the other, be misused against people for personal reasons.
Reference:
IT-Panel: Police can hack into your PC
Capatcha: No more secure
Capatchas have long been the basis of security in many ongoing web services. Capatchas have been used to provide security against bots and automated systems, that try to sign up, brute forcing site passwords, posting articles etc. Capatchas have become the very foolproof verification that whatever is trying to access a particular page is a person and not a machine.
But now, even CAPATCHAs are vulnerable to getting cracked. Researchers from Simon Fraser University and Berkeley University have found out ways to counter attack the system of Capatchas. No more will any bot be debarred from doing whatever it is designed to.
The researchers have programmed a system, that can crack Yahoo capatchas with a success rate of 92%. The researchers include Greg Mori from UC Berkeley Computer Vision Group and Simon Fraser University and Jitendra Malik from UC Berkeley Computer Vision Group.
The research had been published in NEWS articles back in 2002. I'm not sure if Yahoo still uses the system they'd been able to crack, but their research does prove that even Capatchas are vulnerable and further research could even bring the current Capatcha technologies down on their knees.
The basis of the algorithm
The algorithm was based on simple image recognition algorithms. The same algorithms had been used to recognize people, objects or text in images. They simply used that algorithm and named their project EZ-Gimpy.
Their original work can be found here.
Reference:
assertTrue(this): How CAPTCHAs can be beaten
But now, even CAPATCHAs are vulnerable to getting cracked. Researchers from Simon Fraser University and Berkeley University have found out ways to counter attack the system of Capatchas. No more will any bot be debarred from doing whatever it is designed to.
The researchers have programmed a system, that can crack Yahoo capatchas with a success rate of 92%. The researchers include Greg Mori from UC Berkeley Computer Vision Group and Simon Fraser University and Jitendra Malik from UC Berkeley Computer Vision Group.
The research had been published in NEWS articles back in 2002. I'm not sure if Yahoo still uses the system they'd been able to crack, but their research does prove that even Capatchas are vulnerable and further research could even bring the current Capatcha technologies down on their knees.
The basis of the algorithm
The algorithm was based on simple image recognition algorithms. The same algorithms had been used to recognize people, objects or text in images. They simply used that algorithm and named their project EZ-Gimpy.
Their original work can be found here.
Reference:
assertTrue(this): How CAPTCHAs can be beaten
Sunday, February 1, 2009
Making a mail list from all mailing addresses lying around
I was recently on a project of spreading words about my new magazine, for which I was not getting contributors. The best idea I could think of, was to mail people and let them know about it. So, I got out all mail addresses from my orkut account, my address book, and some mail list that used to email all recipients in one go, from which I got most of the addresses. Now, the problem was that, I could not make it typing 1070 email addresses in the To field of my email client. I had to get them in one csv (comma separated value) list. This article would rather be a how to on this topic. I wrote programs for that, whose source code is freely available here along with makefiles and a readme file.
Instructions:
- The first thing was to get the list in a file in some format. The mail list was the first target, which had many addresses. So, I had them in space (' ') separated format. So, I wrote a program eliminateduplication, which will also eliminate the duplication of email addresses, that is two addresses in the same list, and give the output in another file in csv format.
- The second source of addresses was Orkut. I pulled out all contacts in csv format. But, this time it had the names as well. So, I had to open it in a spreadsheet program. Although I used Open Office, Microsoft Excel will do fine. Then all I did, was copy the specific column containing the email addresses, and pasted in a file, where the addresses got separated by Enter. For this, I used the program crlf_to_space, which will take input from the file maillist.13 and put it in a space separated file maillist, which can be later put in maillist.csv.
- The last thing I did, was open the maillist.csv file in a text editor (kwrite, gedit and notepad are examples), and copied the whole list to the To field. The problem was solved.
Instructions:
- Do not delete the maillist file, because any later additions can be done to it, and eliminateduplications will just write those in csv format to maillist.csv, overwriting any existing addresses.
- Download your gmail contacts in csv, and copy email addresses as instructed earlier. Then use crlf_to_space, to append those addresses to the maillist file. This will not overwrite the already existing addresses in that file.
- After this, use the eliminateduplications program to save the space separated email addresses in maillist to maillist.csv in csv format.
- These programs can be useful in gathering various email addresses from different locations, and using them all in one go, without having to type the individual messages.
Labels:
email,
email hacking,
hacking,
mailing list,
programming
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