Infection and Irony

Infection

With keen eyes, Jack looks again.

'Oh, it's a mess.', he thinks to himself.

It's his crotch. Funny, though it might seem, but fate, it seems is not without a sense of irony. In normal circumstances, Jack likes to hang out with Tyler, talks about life, drinks beer and chills out, trying not to think about the shit that usually goes on. But the last few days have been hard on him. The infection down there is killing him.

He starts at it. Using both his thumbs, he squeezes out the blood out of his wound. The pain seems unbearable. For a moment, he finds himself unable to breathe. He, however manages to keep his breath steady, and washes the blood off. Using a piece of cotton, he wipes out the white pus. Jack's face turns blue in disgust. He thanks the almighty, that it doesn't stink. He figures it's time for the other one. He manages to squeeze that too, but this one is hard to tackle. Although it does discharge some blood, which is not actually red in color. Blackish red would describe it best. The pain kicks in now, leaving him dizzy, his breath disturbed. He feels as if someone's choking his breath. He can hardly hold on now. As his sight begins to blacken, he realizes that he is about to faint. He decides it not to be a good idea to be sitting in the bathroom in a condition like this. He wipes off the mess with the last piece of wet cotton, wears his pants and rushes out of the door, puts his head under the tap and turns it on to wet his head, so that the lack of consciousness could subside, but to no avail. He runs back to his bedroom. He doesn't like the look of things. The green packet that is always on his table looks fine, except for the green smudge it now has around it. The light tube looks rather reddish and greenish, as opposed to what it normally looks - white. He runs and falls with a thud on his bed. He lies there with his eyes closed, still trying to cope up with the pain, his head still spinning, his eyes still showing him shades of red, green and blue amidst the darkness.

What started out as a couple of swellings three days ago, has taken a much devastating form. It has burst out into pus and blood during his sleep. The situation has been so bad, that he cannot stand up for long, for the flow of blood through the wounds only leads to a surge of pain, so sharp, that he cannot withstand the pain for more than a couple of minutes. He must always be lying on his bed. And because of this, he hasn't had to see the face of his much hated college. But it has, on the other hand, limited many of his day to day activities. For the cigarettes, he still goes in the small shop, he has at the back of his house, which, fortunately doesn't take long.

After lying on his bed for what seemed like a million years, he opens his eyes and thinks, 'Was I unconscious?' He does check his watch then, which tells that he has been lying there for about five minutes now. He figures, the answer would of course be no. He keeps talking to himself, the way he usually does.

'I think it's about time I should go to a doctor. Self medication won't help much on this.'

He calls up his dearest mate, who is the only person that knows about this infection thing at the moment.

"Hey Tyler, can we just go to the doctor, say tomorrow. I mean you know a good doctor around right?"
"I think you should have taken the decision on day one. We'll go tomorrow."
"All right."

He goes on with the pain for the next twenty four hours, but Tyler gets busy doing something he has to attend to, which results in Jack not going to the doctor. But this doesn't stop him from doing his own medication, which involves cleaning the wound. The whole affair didn't turn up as bad as it had the other night. At bedtime, he goes to bed, but can't fall asleep. So he rubs one out and makes his way to dreamland.

Irony

Next evening, Tyler finds his schedule free and takes Jack to the doctor. Today, however, Jack found his last night dressing to be highly fruitful, for his wounds have cured up a lot and aren't as swollen as they were earlier. It is much less of a problem now, to be standing, although some pain did find its way in. It is however, much easier for him to wear an underwear, which earlier seemed impossible, considering the pain, for it would directly pressurize the wound.

Jack quietly walks up to the doctor, upon being called upon.

"I got an infection at my crotch."
"All right. Get inside the other room and wait."

He goes inside the other chamber. It is small and cramped with a bed lying in a corner, but well lit. He sits on the bed as the doctor comes in.

"You have to show me the infection."

Having known of one of his friend's encounter with a skin specialist, he is prepared for this, and had come with his underwear on. He undoes his jeans and slides his underwear just enough to show the doctor the infection, and yet, not reveal his wiener, something he considers really private. The doctor holds a torch in his hand, as he looks at the grim condition of the man. When he's done examining the infection, he stands up, and looks Jack in the eye.

Considering Jack's age (who is much younger than himself), he utters something, which can be loosely translated as this.

"This infection has happened because... You have been with a lady, with whom you have had intercourse in the wrong place."

As soon as Jack hears the word lady, he found himself shocked. He hadn't had any such experience with a woman before. In fact, our Jack here, is a virgin. Pretty sad for a young man in his early twenties though, but that's how things have been with him. And here, the doctor is not only accusing him of intercourse, but also of sodomy. Jack of course thinks, that the doctor might give him the wrong medication if he didn't understand the fact that it isf not what he thought it is.

"Excuse me doctor, but there's a misunderstanding here. I did not have any..."
"No I mean, not necessarily recently, but in a duration of fifteen to twenty days.", the doctor had interrupted him without really listening to him.

Jack had to try to make him understand.

"But there has been no such thing."
"Just relax young man. Lie down and turn towards the wall.", the doctor said as he stepped out the door, going back to his table to attend to other patients who were waiting for him.

The words, 'turn towards the wall' got Jack in a dilemma. That would mean one thing and one thing alone. An injection in the ass. Jack despises injections and is scared shitless now. He didn't face the wall, and he didn't lie down either. He must make the doc understand that the situation might have arisen due to other reasons. He keeps waiting, but doesn't find the doctor coming back in. He hears the doctor talking to someone but the words are not clear enough to give him an insight into what they might be talking about.

After a few minutes, someone comes in. As Jack had guessed, it is the doctor's assistant, with an injection in his hand. For a moment, Jack keeps looking at the drops of whatever is inside the injection, spurting out from the tip of the needle. He knew that in a few moments, the needle would be tearing his flesh apart. He figures that he must act, and act now.

"Wait, before you inject me, I have to clear out the situation with the doctor."
"You can talk to me."
"No, the doctor thinks it is because of something it is not because of."

The standing man is obviously confused.

"Okay, talk to him then."
"I think I'll let him finish with his current patient now."

They wait for a few seconds, while the assistant realizes that the problem could be solved.

"What is it that you are here for?"
"I got an infection. That's all."
"And what do you want to talk to him about?"
"He says it's because of having sex, while I did not."

The assistant thinks for a moment.

"Oh it happens because of many other reasons like sweat, soap not compatible with your skin. There's a dozen reasons why that might happen."
"Is it really that?"
"Yeah."

Jack finally feels relieved as he finds that the reason doesn't matter, as the medication is the same after all.

"Okay then, I think you can inject me now. But please hurry, for I hate injections."
"Everyone does. Keep your legs relaxed."

As he put the needle in through his ass cheek, the feeling that came up isn't quite warm and welcoming.

"Just relax. It will be fine.", the doc's assistant says.

'Yeah. If you were in my place, with a needle up your ass cheek, you won't be saying that.', Jack thinks to himself.

After finishing the whole doctor thing, getting all those different colored tablets and the medical certificate for college, let alone the doctor not understanding the spelling for his name, Jack and Tyler came out of the doctor's chamber.

"You won't believe what happened in there."

As Jack tells him about the awkward situation inside, the irony of the visit to the doctor, and the serious painful thing turning into a humorous situation, they laugh along. At last, sitting near a tea stall near Tyler's house, as they puff along their cigarettes, Jack says, "Do you know how I got so much better today?"
"How?"
"I think I just needed to jack off."