My conference paper

Somehow I thought of searching for the paper I had presented in the ICSTE conference about an year ago. Found the paper on the Internet. Here's the link: Randomized Multilevel Encryption. Looks like they have the pdf as well documenting the whole thing.

At present, I'm literally away from the camera. I'm however thinking of making something interesting. It will use lasers. I'll post about it at a later time maybe (that is if I ever do make it).

Checked out tempest for eliza today and beamed off AM waves from the computer screen, which transmitted music that I listened to on dad's old radio. Listening to old mac donald and Ludwig Van Beethoven's for Eliza in a never before imagined (by me) way was quite something.

The devil's workshop or the devil himself?

They say, an unoccupied mind is the devil's workshop. Well here's an unoccupied mind here. Where's the devil?

I've been spending the last few of months, practically doing nothing. I did some of the photography thing. Then, when it started getting boring, I did some gaming. Played some of the Ego Draconis, NFSMW, Splinter Cell and SC Pandora Tomorrow. When all the games were over, here I was unoccupied again. Then there was this advertisement in the paper about a photography competition (No, I still don't read the newspaper. Dad showed it to me). But their print aspect ratio was one of a kind. Not 16:9, not 16:10 and definitely not 4:3, which was the ratio of my photographs. They wanted huge prints for one to participate in it, and such a great place for photographers this place is, the best photo printers in town didn't have that big a paper. So I had to drop the plan. Then there came this lucid dreaming thing. I got inspired after watching Inception. Sinofemp used to talk about these lucid dream things when we lived together. He'd say that he was dreaming and found something unusual. And then he'd realize that he was dreaming and start doing whatever he wanted. Mostly he'd fly like Superman. I trained my ass to do that for a couple of weeks, but as they'd put it, it needs a lot of patience just for you to get the first lucid dream. Patience, as it turns out is my worst nightmare when I see no development at all. I did have one though, much after I stopped trying, but the moment I realized I was dreaming, I woke up panting heavily. But it did add to the patience thing after all. Then there came this urge to watch movies about lucid dreaming. So I watched A waking life. And the visuals of it amazed me so much, that I started researching into how they had the patience to make such lifelike animations. Turns out the animation was outsourced to another company, who use this Rotoshop thing to make the animations. But it was closed source and they didn't source it outside the company. So there went my endeavor to try the software. And as with every new kind of program I find, I started finding Open Source alternatives. I found just one (among the automated ones and not the ones in which you have to manually draw the outline of the subject, which was not possible for me, taking into consideration that I'd work with videos, which would be about 30 frames for one second. And then I found a script. Days later, I made a version of that script that gave me my lifelike animations. And after the Splinter Cell thing, I developed a thing for Espionage and as such. Started watching movies about espionage. Realistic ones. Not the gadgetry bullshit of movies like James Bond. Although with Daniel Craig, it is much more realistic nowadays. At the time of Brosnon, it was comedy more and espionage less. Now that I'm done with the Wikipedia list of spy films, I'm watching whatever I can lay my hands on. Mostly open source movies. Wikipedia has been a hell of a companion lately. I'd wake up night after night reading stuff which will probably never be of any use to me. But at least I like reading those. It's not like reading to pass in a goddamn exam. It's not like pretending that you're digesting the stuff well when you're hating every single bite of it.



And, yes I did come up with a small project with that script I made:

Time and again, I find me questioning myself - What's this life all about. The answer, as I well know is imprinted in my brain. But as I'd always put, when you see no developments, patience dies. But hope doesn't. And that's what keeps you at it, whether you consciously realize that or not.

At present, I'm thinking of taking up an open source movie project using the rotoscoping script I wrote two days ago. But again, you need other people to work with you to make a movie. Skouzer made the solo of our first song a few days ago. With the exams on and no time to record it all, we're still waiting for the recording and production. Ironically, there's still two more songs to be completed and it doesn't remotely seem to me that we'll meet the deadline. But again, there's noone above us to kick our asses if we don't. The question now remains, what do we do when we have released the songs. Will they get any attention in this world of corporations? Will an endeavor with zero capital be successful? Time has the answer and I'm willing to find out.

Oh, and I did make an antenna for my wifi card. After two years of waiting, I got the connectors and wires in eBay. Unfortunately that's used to wire just the antennas to PCI cards for desktops and not laptops. The guy's gonna get me the  laptop connectors tomorrow though. And I made a parabolic reflector out of paper recently, which I plan to use for the antenna. Ironically you don't get those pringles cans here (because you don't get pringles), which means I'd have to make that out of paper and aluminum foil as well. Once I get that connector, I'll be up and running to hack my way into all the wireless networks around. It's funny how people don't realize how insecure they are in this world. One password and they think it's all safe. Nothing really is. Two years ago I hacked into one of these networks, probably from a hotel nearby. The admins probably knew that encryption could be easily broken by novices using programs. S they used MAC (Media Access Control not the Apple's Mac) filtering. But your humble friend here isn't a novice now, is he? I did break into the network, but finding their gateways was a real pain in the ass. Never really got through that and the next chance I got, I was too late. The people I gave my laptop to, to fix my screen ripped off my wifi card and antenna cables and lost them and down it all went. I had to fight with those fuckers for a week to get them to give me a new card. They didn't attach the wires though. I've been searching for the connectors ever since.

And soon, it will all be over. But I can't help but question myself - when?

A rotoscope script

For those who don't know what a rotoscope is, it is a cartoon, created essentially from a non cartoon image. You take a photograph and turn it to a cartoon and it's a rotoscope.

I've been doing some of it since the past few days. I came across quite a few programs for both imagery and video. The greatest one (in my opinion), was a hack and not a program created by a youtube user about which I found out from a google search. Here's that original rotoscope hack.

The results were, however, not quite upto my needs. So I worked on it, and now I have a modified hack of that script, which I used to make this video.

You just get a video, get this script and a few packages and you're up and running. Bad news for my Windoze friends, as this only works on Linux. I don't know for sure at this point if the used programs are available for Windows, but if they are, I'll write a batch script to do the same on windows. Till then, use a live Ubuntu CD.

Here's the script:

Automatic rotoscope hack

Living with Nurvs of Steel as Nurvs of Steel

It has been an awesome week. Doing shows with Nurvs of Steel, it's pretty damn good to see people who "never" listen to Metal or even "English" music give a good response.

The last show was in R K Mall for the final round of Campus Jung. It always sucks when the sound systems are fucked up, and here in Raipur, it's never good. The crowd wasn't enough though. Not as much enthusiastic as the one in Magneto. Thanks to the organizers, who had earlier mentioned that if bands do not report by 12 noon, they will be DQed but couldn't set up the stage until it was about 5:30 in the evening (Yeah, their management does suck). What's more surprising is the fact that it was organized by Dainik Bhaskar and sponsored by Hero Honda. But I guess, when it's Raipur, shit is bound to happen. I remember the last time when me and Skouzer performed with Nimbus and although the stage was all indoor, the sound system was atleast better than this time (at least it wasn't in a mall).

At first the assholes cut the power supply to our processors and started announcing that if we're not done with the sound check in 1 minute, we'd be DQed. I guess it's all they can do. Threaten to DQ us on grounds absolutely insane.

I'm just about done uploading the videos to the Nurvs of Steel Youtube channel. I guess the post-processing will be done in about a few hours before I wake up. And I updated the Band's website. Some fucker flagged our site in facebook, so I can't add the link there any more. But I hope the facebook admins will take care of that. Some wallpapers are up for downloads there now.

I'm looking forward to be aired on MyFM - our next endeavor and I do hope we'd get enough votes. All I want is for things to work out. After all, this is what I'm gonna do. The sooner the better.

Headbanging with Nurvs of Steel

After a lot of opposition from my parents, I decided to get back to Raipur to do some upcoming shows with my band.

Lately, we got ourselves a new place to practice in. Our new f-ing studio. Situated in the outskirts of the city, it's the perfect location for practicing, as there ain't much population around, so that we get to jam quite a lot, which would not have been the case anywhere else.


Two days ago, we went to BIT to perform in their branch based competition. Not to my surprise, they had no fucking monitors and they cut us loose at 12 minutes when the slot was of 20 minutes. And although they told that it was because of pressure from the faculty, but fuck knows the real fucking reason. The bad thing is that we could not complete Hallowed be thy name. They unplugged our guitars just before the fucking solo. And not once, but twice.

At the end of that, I can't tell you how many people came up and told us that they loved us, and that is exactly when you're doing heavy metal in a non metal place. They respect we got that day, goes both ways. I feel love and respect for the people of BIT Durg, who besides all the shit that was thrown at us by their event coordinators supported us. Especially to the guy who told me that he never listens to any english songs but still loved my vocals in Hallowed be thy name.

The next day, we had an audition for Campus Jung conducted by Dainik Bhaskar, in which me and Skouzer performed with Nimbus last year and ended up as runner ups and all we got was just a fucking certificate.

And yesterday they printed about the show in their newspaper's local page, and they printed our name as Steel the band. The question I ask is, "Are they fucking illiterates?" We had even written down our fucking name during the registration - Nurvs of Steel. Not some fucking "Steel the band".

I for one, am very thankful to everyone who came and supported us, giving us the best response we have ever had till date. And although they were not the metal kind of people, but the enthusiasm left me dumbstruck.

I guess shit happens. Now they're postponing the main show, and our drummer has to go to Mumbai for his checkup following the major accident he had a few months ago.

I guess that's just all for now. I'll keep updating whenever I get a chance, and just hope these posts are at least read.

Lonely

Lonely, originally uploaded by Sudipto_Sarkar.

My condition lately. I am however working on that. Trying and hacking my brain to make me feel better.

The band got a show on 12th in college. I however don't think will be able to go there. I'm practically grounded. Doing instrumentals for 20 minutes ain't an easy job either. Especially when it's an audience of the sort which goes for bollywood "music". More so, when it is heavy metal instrumentals.

It's the first show where we were "invited". Not a competition, but a show. And looks where I'm standing. Fate it seems, is not without a sense of irony...

Life's going on

Many a times, one feels that there's nothing much left of life. This is one of those times for me.

I'm at my parents' now, and there ain't much to do. I'm just getting bored sitting in this place day and night, surfing the Internet or playing old fucked up games.
Some good things are happening as well though. One of them is that I almost finished writing a song. After a week or so, I'll work on it and make it releaseable. I'm not sure if to go for a single release or an EP as was planned earlier and announced on the band's twitter page.

Another good thing is that I got BSNL Broadband yesterday. So, no more waiting hours to download a Meg of file.

I started using Freenet lately and one wouldn't believe the enormous amount of stuff it has. It's just a plethora of information. I sure hope to find something interesting in there (other that pr0n, which you eventually get bored of).

Meanwhile, I went to college to get the certificate and marksheets, and some stuff happened, but that's a whole new post. At one moment you realize that you'll probably die or end up in a hospital for a month, and then you realize that it's okay, and you got out of that just fine. It is then when you start loving yourself.
The company didn't send my call letter yet, so my parents are bugging me, which always gets me irritated. But that's just life. A ton of shit thrown at you, which you must dodge or face consequences.

Fucked up life won't always be fucked up

Those who have known me in recent years, know well of how I have a record in almost getting fucked up but escaping the danger at the last moment by a fucking millimeter. Right now, the time is bad. I am facing shit with the most important thing - getting the fuck out of dependence, and I'm on the verge of fucking up. All I can do is do what I normally do - keep calm. But under the circumstances, it seems pretty tough. But I know I'll get through this, intact and victorious.

New photoblog with phtography tips- Visio Planet

After much waiting, I finally published my Photoblog on my own domain. Honestly, I was quite busy doing this for the last few days. And when your ISP gives you a speed of 0.1 kbps after stating the speed in the advertisement as - "SUPERFAST INTERNET", it's not quite easy to do things. You have to wait the whole day to do something which would otherwise take about an hour. I am thinking of writing about this shitty thing in my social shit unmasked blog, which will of course then be the first story I'd write there. For those of you who are interested in what I'm interested in, try checking out my new blogs. You might find something of interest.

Agartala railway station

Agartala railway station, originally uploaded by Sudipto_Sarkar.

I was checking out the most viewed photographs in my flickr account today. Surprisingly it was this low resolution Motorola cameraphone picture of the railway station, which I clicked about a couple of years ago.

This edifice won't look like a railway station at first sight. In fact you won't know till you are either told, or till you see the trains or the interiors.

The station ain't very big if you consider the fact that there are no broad gauge lines. The only lines are the meter gauge lines, and you can go till Silchar on these trains. And not to mention how slow they are. The last time I heard about them, they'd take 18 hours to reach Silchar, as if 12 hours on a bus journey was less.

Anyway, the topic ain't how slow or how utterly useless it is for long journey, although it is quite useful for travelling to places which aren't very far and waiting for buses can be a pain in the ass.

The architecture resembles that of a palace. In face, it is build in memory of the Ujjayanta Palace, which was the royal palace of ancient Tripura, now situated in a place outside Agartala.

Now as I checked Google for "Agartala railway station", this picture was in the front page. Feels good being on the front page for a keyword I did not deliberately use for SEO. :)

P.S. Your comments are valuable. Do lemme know what you thought about this.

New blog about shit in society

Regardless of who we are, we all go through shit of some kind or the other every day. Almost all "organizations" are using us in some way or the other. And I for one, am really really pissed off with that. So I decided to dedicate an entire blog upon the subject.

I have teamed up with another blogger to do this with. Together, we are going to reveal the truth behind some things which will advertise themselves as really good and beneficial, but as soon as you look into them or spend your money in it, they start kicking your ass. It's better to be aware of such shit before you take a step. This blog is an insight into that.

Here's the link:

http://socialshitunmasked.blogspot.com

At present we have just written the introductory post, which you'll find here: http://socialshitunmasked.blogspot.com/2010/07/what-is-social-shit.html

P.S. Do not forget to follow and/or subscribe if you're into conspiracy theories and such.

Currency INR (Indian National Rupee)

Currency INR (Indian National Rupee), originally uploaded by Sudipto_Sarkar.

Some of you guys know that I used to be into photography. And although I never really had the chance to get myself a good camera, I now have a good camera at my disposal now. So, I just thought I'd post my flickr photographs here on my blog as I keep clicking them.

This one's a hundred rupee note kept under five 1 Re coins. The dead subject intrigued me, and I came up with this.

Bye bye academics

I am Jack's smirky face.

Academics are over. I'm back at my parents'. And I have a shitload of time to kill. Oh, and I got placed too, although the booze party was a little short of booze.

Lately, things have been quite boring. Most of the time, I'm either watching the idiot box, or sitting in front of the computer playing a ten year old game. With no beer for about a month, you can imagine what it's like. Days are passing by, either sleeping or getting bored. My laptop's in the hospital getting its backlight controller circuit regrown. Damn that bucket of water that fell on it a couple of months back.

I am Jack's idle brain.

Dad bought this new camera, so I got quite a revival of photography now, playing around with the macro lens mode and every convex lens I can muster to find in the house. I spent some days composing the song, I started last year at about this time. Made some progress, although I'm yet to complete the lyrics of that.

Other than that, I'm working yet again on the graphic novel I started to work on last year. Waiting to get a new tablet, just so that I can digitize all of my work without having to consider managing a scanner from somewhere. Have almost finished working on the story anew. All I have to do now is work on the synopsis, the characters, the script, concept art and then the panels, inking coloring, lettering and page setup. Shitload of work again.

I am Jack's brain feeling a little more occupied now.

Other than all this, as if it were not enough, I'm thinking of working on another graphic novel, but placing this under an open source license, something similar to NYC2123. Yes, I am talking about an open source graphic novel. And what did you think? The open source thing applies only to softwares? In case you didn't know, other than softwares, it applies to hardware, movies, music, paintings, photographic works etc. Whatever you want it to apply to. And if you're really thinking that you should have known that, you'd seriously want to follow my blog about open source here.

Anyways, coming back to the topic, I'd really appreciate it if I could get people to work with me on this. Someone to think out a good story, someone to write the script, I'd like to work on the art (might include all of the inking, coloring and lettering process if no individual expert is willing to join me).

Other than that, I got ill. Now I won't make up another Jack's sentence to describe that. Ciao fellas!

Life's taking turns

Past few days have been full of parties. Have been drinking for five consecutive days till the day before the day before yesterday. Meanwhile there's been this Eclectika thing. We played there, and although we preferred not to go for the first slot, as the "coordinators" had decided, because of the real bad situation when it comes to sound engineering on stages in Raipur, we did get thrown in for the first slot. Another interesting thing worth remembering comes up here.

There was this band, who had the first slot onstage that day and we were to come up after that. So, I and Dev (who are hardcore cigarette addicts, and had been going on without one for about three hours), decided to go and have a cigarette. Pappan had one, and we went to the street of Sanskrit college to have a smoke. We had switched our phones off, for they might interfere with the huge amplifiers on the stage if a call comes in. Suddenly, as we're having the cigarette, the sound check of the other band stops and the host announces something about a next band, although I wasn't sure whether it really was that, I couldn't hear the name of the band though, for a bike passed us right at that moment. We kept smoking for like 2 minutes, when I switched my phone on to see the time, and as soon as I did, Jay called in (who's the bassist). And he tells that we're live. Me and Dev had to run to the stage for we were like three minutes late. The sound "engineers" were real talented people. All the cables were fucked up. We had a bad time setting up the sound levels. The people coordinating the event would come up over and over again to tell us that the time was being consumed. Of course we had to snap and tell them to take care of the sound instead of filling our heads with fear.

After all was set up, and we started our first song, our great "engineers" reduced the lead guitars to an extent where it was practically not audible. So the first song got fucked up, thanks to them. Before the second song, we did have the levels increased. Thanks to a few rock listeners, people knew this song and did cheer us when they learned it was Sweet child o' mine.

The revaluation results were out the day before yesterday. The maths department (the greatest one amongst all colleges in the entire world, leaving colleges like MIT and Berkeley University far behind), did fuck up everyone who had applied for a revaluation of the subject, getting everyone below 15, when they were just one mark behind what was needed to pass by grace. Managing money for the back forms was a real pain in the ass.

I'll upload a few photographs and the video pertaining to eclectika when I get my hands on them. In the mean time, I have been recalling a story from my life (again about a girl), but that's another post.

Infection and Irony

Infection

With keen eyes, Jack looks again.

'Oh, it's a mess.', he thinks to himself.

It's his crotch. Funny, though it might seem, but fate, it seems is not without a sense of irony. In normal circumstances, Jack likes to hang out with Tyler, talks about life, drinks beer and chills out, trying not to think about the shit that usually goes on. But the last few days have been hard on him. The infection down there is killing him.

He starts at it. Using both his thumbs, he squeezes out the blood out of his wound. The pain seems unbearable. For a moment, he finds himself unable to breathe. He, however manages to keep his breath steady, and washes the blood off. Using a piece of cotton, he wipes out the white pus. Jack's face turns blue in disgust. He thanks the almighty, that it doesn't stink. He figures it's time for the other one. He manages to squeeze that too, but this one is hard to tackle. Although it does discharge some blood, which is not actually red in color. Blackish red would describe it best. The pain kicks in now, leaving him dizzy, his breath disturbed. He feels as if someone's choking his breath. He can hardly hold on now. As his sight begins to blacken, he realizes that he is about to faint. He decides it not to be a good idea to be sitting in the bathroom in a condition like this. He wipes off the mess with the last piece of wet cotton, wears his pants and rushes out of the door, puts his head under the tap and turns it on to wet his head, so that the lack of consciousness could subside, but to no avail. He runs back to his bedroom. He doesn't like the look of things. The green packet that is always on his table looks fine, except for the green smudge it now has around it. The light tube looks rather reddish and greenish, as opposed to what it normally looks - white. He runs and falls with a thud on his bed. He lies there with his eyes closed, still trying to cope up with the pain, his head still spinning, his eyes still showing him shades of red, green and blue amidst the darkness.

What started out as a couple of swellings three days ago, has taken a much devastating form. It has burst out into pus and blood during his sleep. The situation has been so bad, that he cannot stand up for long, for the flow of blood through the wounds only leads to a surge of pain, so sharp, that he cannot withstand the pain for more than a couple of minutes. He must always be lying on his bed. And because of this, he hasn't had to see the face of his much hated college. But it has, on the other hand, limited many of his day to day activities. For the cigarettes, he still goes in the small shop, he has at the back of his house, which, fortunately doesn't take long.

After lying on his bed for what seemed like a million years, he opens his eyes and thinks, 'Was I unconscious?' He does check his watch then, which tells that he has been lying there for about five minutes now. He figures, the answer would of course be no. He keeps talking to himself, the way he usually does.

'I think it's about time I should go to a doctor. Self medication won't help much on this.'

He calls up his dearest mate, who is the only person that knows about this infection thing at the moment.

"Hey Tyler, can we just go to the doctor, say tomorrow. I mean you know a good doctor around right?"
"I think you should have taken the decision on day one. We'll go tomorrow."
"All right."

He goes on with the pain for the next twenty four hours, but Tyler gets busy doing something he has to attend to, which results in Jack not going to the doctor. But this doesn't stop him from doing his own medication, which involves cleaning the wound. The whole affair didn't turn up as bad as it had the other night. At bedtime, he goes to bed, but can't fall asleep. So he rubs one out and makes his way to dreamland.

Irony

Next evening, Tyler finds his schedule free and takes Jack to the doctor. Today, however, Jack found his last night dressing to be highly fruitful, for his wounds have cured up a lot and aren't as swollen as they were earlier. It is much less of a problem now, to be standing, although some pain did find its way in. It is however, much easier for him to wear an underwear, which earlier seemed impossible, considering the pain, for it would directly pressurize the wound.

Jack quietly walks up to the doctor, upon being called upon.

"I got an infection at my crotch."
"All right. Get inside the other room and wait."

He goes inside the other chamber. It is small and cramped with a bed lying in a corner, but well lit. He sits on the bed as the doctor comes in.

"You have to show me the infection."

Having known of one of his friend's encounter with a skin specialist, he is prepared for this, and had come with his underwear on. He undoes his jeans and slides his underwear just enough to show the doctor the infection, and yet, not reveal his wiener, something he considers really private. The doctor holds a torch in his hand, as he looks at the grim condition of the man. When he's done examining the infection, he stands up, and looks Jack in the eye.

Considering Jack's age (who is much younger than himself), he utters something, which can be loosely translated as this.

"This infection has happened because... You have been with a lady, with whom you have had intercourse in the wrong place."

As soon as Jack hears the word lady, he found himself shocked. He hadn't had any such experience with a woman before. In fact, our Jack here, is a virgin. Pretty sad for a young man in his early twenties though, but that's how things have been with him. And here, the doctor is not only accusing him of intercourse, but also of sodomy. Jack of course thinks, that the doctor might give him the wrong medication if he didn't understand the fact that it isf not what he thought it is.

"Excuse me doctor, but there's a misunderstanding here. I did not have any..."
"No I mean, not necessarily recently, but in a duration of fifteen to twenty days.", the doctor had interrupted him without really listening to him.

Jack had to try to make him understand.

"But there has been no such thing."
"Just relax young man. Lie down and turn towards the wall.", the doctor said as he stepped out the door, going back to his table to attend to other patients who were waiting for him.

The words, 'turn towards the wall' got Jack in a dilemma. That would mean one thing and one thing alone. An injection in the ass. Jack despises injections and is scared shitless now. He didn't face the wall, and he didn't lie down either. He must make the doc understand that the situation might have arisen due to other reasons. He keeps waiting, but doesn't find the doctor coming back in. He hears the doctor talking to someone but the words are not clear enough to give him an insight into what they might be talking about.

After a few minutes, someone comes in. As Jack had guessed, it is the doctor's assistant, with an injection in his hand. For a moment, Jack keeps looking at the drops of whatever is inside the injection, spurting out from the tip of the needle. He knew that in a few moments, the needle would be tearing his flesh apart. He figures that he must act, and act now.

"Wait, before you inject me, I have to clear out the situation with the doctor."
"You can talk to me."
"No, the doctor thinks it is because of something it is not because of."

The standing man is obviously confused.

"Okay, talk to him then."
"I think I'll let him finish with his current patient now."

They wait for a few seconds, while the assistant realizes that the problem could be solved.

"What is it that you are here for?"
"I got an infection. That's all."
"And what do you want to talk to him about?"
"He says it's because of having sex, while I did not."

The assistant thinks for a moment.

"Oh it happens because of many other reasons like sweat, soap not compatible with your skin. There's a dozen reasons why that might happen."
"Is it really that?"
"Yeah."

Jack finally feels relieved as he finds that the reason doesn't matter, as the medication is the same after all.

"Okay then, I think you can inject me now. But please hurry, for I hate injections."
"Everyone does. Keep your legs relaxed."

As he put the needle in through his ass cheek, the feeling that came up isn't quite warm and welcoming.

"Just relax. It will be fine.", the doc's assistant says.

'Yeah. If you were in my place, with a needle up your ass cheek, you won't be saying that.', Jack thinks to himself.

After finishing the whole doctor thing, getting all those different colored tablets and the medical certificate for college, let alone the doctor not understanding the spelling for his name, Jack and Tyler came out of the doctor's chamber.

"You won't believe what happened in there."

As Jack tells him about the awkward situation inside, the irony of the visit to the doctor, and the serious painful thing turning into a humorous situation, they laugh along. At last, sitting near a tea stall near Tyler's house, as they puff along their cigarettes, Jack says, "Do you know how I got so much better today?"
"How?"
"I think I just needed to jack off."

The last few days.

Quite a lot has happened is what I'd say, if I have to summarize this whole post in one line.

Had two companies coming up in college. Not that I made a very good progress in that. Although I did clear Belzabar's tech quiz round, in the coding, I sure fucked up.

Someone to noone again.

Have been going through a very bad crisis at this time, considering all the aspects of daily life.

Bharat (the drums & percussions guy of ours) had a bad accident in the meantime, breaking two pelvis bones. Doesn't seem like he'll be okay in some time. The plans for us performing in the cultural fest of the college seems dwindling because of this.

I, however decided to upload one song we did in IIT Kharagpur. Here are the links to that: part1 part2.

About anonymous comment posting

If you are someone who hasn't posted any comments on this blog, this post isn't for you. If you are someone who hasn't posted any anonymous comments on this blog, this post isn't for you either. If you have posted any anonymous comments on this blog, but they aren't either of the first comment on this and this page, this post isn't for you. From the last criteria, if you find that it was you who posted those comments or either of them, read on. I have a message for you too.

I have a thing against anonymous comments. So far I have had very few comments on this blog. That was as long as I wrote about computers and electronics hacking. Noone really cared what I wrote about. That was the shittiest time this blog has seen. All the stuff put in one place. And most of that was my own research. Might be something that has existed for ages, but some stuff in there was always new. Of all the comments, not one was one that was supposed to be a kick on my face. But then one day, when I had almost stopped writing about my research (I have stopped that since the start of seventh semester), an anonymous comment pops up. Obviously I was not happy to see the way it was delivering the message. "But that was a long time ago. Why talk about it now?", you'd say. So, here it is again.

The last post, I receive another such anonymous comment. For this one, I'm guessing names, and I get just one. The name, for your information, has been deduced from the time, the way of writing, the style of spelling words and the style of punctuation. Next time this anonymous commenting is necessary, try to be "anonymous".

So, my point is not to tell everyone what kind of shit this is or that it should not be done, or even that it should be done, so that I change and become a normal guy, and a good human being.

To express the whole thing I have in my mind to you, in two words, "FUCK THAT"! First of all, PLEASE do not tell me what to do, and second of all, if you have a suggestion for me, it better be just a suggestion. That's because I'd think over what I hear and then decide whether or not it is something I am going to do. So, if you are one of the people who think they think good of me by trying to change the way I am, think of me as not your friend, but your enemy. If you have something against me, say it on my face. And last of all, I have enough friends. I don't need friends who can't respect what I am.

Am I dead?

"Am I dead?", I found myself questioning. For a moment I totally forgot about whatever was going on around and tried to figure out if I was still in my senses. I couldn't hear anything, couldn't see anything. I couldn't even feel a thing. A sudden pain struck my head, and I started hearing mumbles all around. It was the laboratory - artificial intelligence lab class. Everyone was talking to each other. Then I felt something in my hand. I lowered my sight to see what I was holding, and saw the tabulation of the last semester.

I am Jack's fucked up life.

I regained my senses, only to find out that I had not one but two backs now. If you're someone who gets a back for the first time in his life, the feeling it accompanies is not good. And when it's about time that you should have been placed, and you're getting backs, it's really frustrating. One back was still tolerable. But the second one, about which I just came to know, made things worse.

If I wasn't screwed when I came to know about the first back, I sure as hell am now.

I was angry and sad at the same time. When you're brought up in an environment, where you're taught to love books and give up your life for books, just because those are going to get you money, when it's all about pride, when it's all about responsibility, you hardly can live your life. All you have to do is read books, whether you like it or not.

I have a confession to make. I never liked books. I hated books. Even when I used to top my class, it was not because I liked to, but because the responsibility thing was there. For sometime, it was out of love for someone. The rest of the time, it was because I had to fulfill the responsibility towards my parents, who have been doing me favors, indebting me. I can't really tell them about this, and I don't know what I should do next. And now that it's almost the end of it all, when I'm just a few steps away from dependence, when freedom is right in front of me, I have stumbled and fallen.

The fear inside is taking shape of anger, pain and agony. And I must do something to not give up. I wanna destroy something beautiful. I wanna breathe smoke.

This one's rather an update.

I'm working on the first original for the band. Although it's not the first time that I'm composing a song, but it's way more fun when you know that this one's gonna be complete.

One won't believe how much of work it takes just to compose a three minute song, but when it's the only thing you want to do, it's rather fun than pain.

Was browsing through all the recordings I've done in the past. Found some good ones, not metal though. Mostly acoustic. But I think I'm gonna put 'em up somewhere on the Internet.

A milestone achieved

I just returned from Springfest 2010 from IIT Kharagpur. It was a much anticipated tour. Nurvs of Steel finally got the debut I have been wanting to get for the past two years.

I'll begin from where it began. Jayesh had joined the band about a few days before the exam. We were still searching for a place to jam. And in Raipur, where people can be such assholes, it was a really tough thing to get. We could all practice at our places, but then, the neighbors were always a pain in the ass. It's okay when they play their shitty bollywood "music" (which rarely makes any sense) at full volume during our exams. But it's really disturbing to them when we talk on our phone (supposedly, we are shouting and creating a nuisance).

So, after the exams were over, we were done with selecting the songs we were to perform. We hadn't made our OC yet (and how could we, without a single jam?). So covers were our only option. The plan was to practice those individually during the semester break. 5k0uz3r was to go home, and so were the other guys. I dropped my plan of going to my parents' after I was not selected in the placement for CTS. 5k0uz3r got himself an Ibanez. Was good news, for he had to wait a year and a half to get that.

I spent the whole semester break in my place, alone and miserably. After it was over, Jayesh came back, and we started jamming at my place at low volume levels. It was kinda exaggerating that finally I was doing the songs I always wanted to do. Bharat was to come back some time soon. A day after he came back, we called him up, wanting to know his status. He obviously hadn't practiced any of the songs, for he hadn't any drum set in his home, and still wasn't practicing. We fixed a practice at his place for we had no other choice.

His place was big enough with an empty hall. But the neighborhood was extraordinarily quiet. The sound of the drums tore through the walls, and the neighbors were pissed off in a few days.

Meanwhile, we were searching for a place to practice. A junior's grandparents agreed to let us practice in their place, but that didn't seem to be a viable option to me. Metal is always way louder than any other kind of music. His grandfather then set us up to practice in a college (I'm not naming it to maintain their privacy). So, when the college is over, we could practice all night. On 14th, we shifted our stuffs there in a store room, and waited for Dev to come back. On 15th, we finally got our first jamming session together.

We figured that some songs were way to hard to be played on a single base paddle. We made tremendous changes to our list. With five nights of sleepless practice and college-less days, we were finally ready to go. We had to drop a few songs and change the rest few because of lack of time. All of the songs were metal nevertheless, with the exception of sweet child.

We set off for IIT KGP on 20th. All of us were very excited, and simultaneously a bit nervous, for the jamming session that day lasted just about 45 minutes, and we were not very satisfied with what turned out.

We reached KGP the next day. After the initial registration and check in thing, we were in the RP hall, surrounded by people. And when I say people, I mean a lot of people. The stink gets worse in the few days everyone is in there. The stink of their rotten socks and shoes. Good that it was winter, for without the blankets we were all using, the place would have been simply inhospitable.

The competition was to be held in the huge football (rugby) stadium. The stage was set, but we hadn't any place to prepare. There were no practice sessions for the number of bands coming up was just huge, and they couldn't give us slots for practice. We, however decided giving our preparations a final touch anyway. Bharat was the one who had to suffer the absence of drums. The rest of us three played along at the back of the stadium at nights, when it was all deserted.

And then we met this guy from a band called Minus from Ranchi. He was a real nutcase, I must admit. So whenever he started with his "I did this and I did that" bullshit, 5k0uz3r and I had to flee the hall. The canteens were awesome, for they were open all night, so that you don't have to think twice if you're out of cigarettes. The only bad thing was that they had all those costly cigarettes of the likes of Marlboro, which were all filter and no tobacco.

Kryptos were the judge in the competition and we'd decided to go on stage on 23rd, for that was supposedly the last day for the preliminary round.

The slot was then decided and we performed. I was wearing the tshirt of our band, that I'd painted a few days before actually going to KGP. The performance wasn't good for what we'd expected, but again, it was a debut. I'll probably write about what happened that day, but that won't be sometime soon. But I sure as hell was happy to see Kryptos giving us a horns up after we did Hallowed by thy name. Felt like honor.

Kryptos had a show that night. And although from their records, all I could deduce was that they were more influenced from death metal (that's because the only times I heard them was on radioverve), to my surprise, they turned out to be an Iron Maiden influenced band. Absolutely heavy metal.

Happy fuckin' new year!

Seems like the first post this year. So, a happy new year to you if you're reading!

Last night was enjoyable. That wasn't the plan till last evening, until when, the plan was chalked out as a booze and metal night.

Then Sanjeev calls and asks about the plan. Good that he called, and told that he was with the "gang". So I got ready for the newly formed plan B. Booze party with the booze guys.

Although Mama couldn't finish half his beer bottle, nevertheless, that got me more than a bottle to drink. :)

The new year awaits a lot of surprises. A happy and rocking new year to you all again!